My poor husband was expecting a nice sit down lunch at Ocean Basket earlier when I suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion and the tears started streaming down my cheeks. I felt so silly and couldn't quite pinpoint the cause of all this emotion, but after just watching my precious little Lily sitting so sweetly at the table in her big girl chair, I realised that I'm full of guilt and anxiety...
I'm feeling guilty in that our time together as just mom and daughter is almost over. In about 2.5 weeks, she will always have to share me with her little brother. I am incredibly excited to meet him and to have him in our lives, but it is a huge adjustment and difficult to imagine with him still snuggled safely in his incubator.
I'm feeling anxious about leaving Lily for almost 4 days - the most I've left her for is 1.5 days. I want our last day together to be just the two of us - I don't want to share her with anyone. I'm taking that day just to be with her and to take in every single precious moment. I know I'm going to be emotional leaving the house in the quiet darkness as we head to the hospital before 6am without saying goodbye as she will no doubt still be sleeping. On one hand I'm going to be thrilled and excited to meet our little prince, but on the other, I'm leaving behind my little princess for what's going to seem like forever...
Such a bitter sweet time. I'm really battling with all these emotions today.
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