The worst time ever!

After my previous post, I couldn't begin to imagine how absolutely horrendous our situation would become.  Little did I know that the situation we were in last week, was nothing in comparison to what was about to hit us...

First of all, I had my Mastitis which I spoke about in my last post, then Lily's Viral Infection developed into Croup!  Croup is absolutely horrible!  It sounds like your child cannot breath and they sound so incredibly ill.  Croup obviously meant a very sick and miserable child as well as interrupted nights for us as Lily's sleep was continuously disrupted by bouts of coughing fits.  Then, a few days later, after I had completed my course of antibiotics, Mastitis hit again!  This time in both breasts accompanied by shakes, shivers, migraine and pain.  Thank goodness for Mybulin which is a painkiller you can take while breastfeeding and it removes all those nasty symptoms so I can function as a mother and look after my children.

THEN... the day after my Mastitis diagnosis, Zac started to sound ill.  After a paediatrician visit, it turns out he had caught the RSV Virus (Bronchiolitis) and had to be hospitalised as he is still so very new and tiny.  I was in tears.  What more could possibly go wrong!  So Zac and I were admitted into hospital on Thursday morning and spent 3 days and 2 nights there.  Hospitals are awful - you get absolutely no rest and my poor little innocent baby was subjected to a drip in his tiny hand, physiotherapy to remove the mucous in his nose and chest (horrible tubes and suctioning) and a nebulizer which he hated every 4 hours.  I was so relieved to be released on Saturday I have to say!

Then on Saturday night Zac screamed and screamed.  He was in so much pain from all the coughing that his poor little body was doing.  Eventually after about 4 hours of continuous screaming, we drove him to casualty only for him to pass out from exhaustion in the car.  So we turned around and brought him home where he slept for a full 6 hour stretch.  Yesterday he thankfully sounded much better and slept for most of the day - something he did hardly anything of the day before.  Although he is still coughing, he definitely sounds like he is on the mend.  We can expect coughing for the next week or two though as the RSV Virus is not a nice one to get and really attacks the little system.  My poor angel.

Last night, just when we thought the light at the end of the tunnel was appearing, Lily woke up screaming!  After watching her gestures we realised that she could possibly have a middle ear infection due to the Croup she has had as she kept on pulling at her left ear.  We administered some meds and she went to sleep and didn't disturb again during the night.  I am watching her this morning and the paed said should her temperature spike or should she show any signs of discomfort again, we are to bring her in. 

I honestly feel like setting up camp in the doctor's rooms we have been there so often.  We have spent over R6,000 in the last week and a half on medical bills and that excludes the hospital stay which thankfully medical aid will cover.  I don't wish what we have been through on my worst enemy.  It has been a very trying, exhausting and emotionally draining week and half.  I suppose it can only get better from here!

Rough week

I am exceptionally pleased to see the end of this last week - it was extremely rough and all I can say is thank goodness I have my mom here to help.  Murphy's Law when everything came to a head, hubby was away for the night so what I would have done without my mom, I have no idea!

In the early hours of Wednesday morning I woke up with shivers and shakes aka a fever.  My left breast was incredibly sore and I knew straight away that I must have Mastitis.  I developed an excrutiatingly painful migraine and felt like death warmed up to say the least.  I have a relatively high pain threshold so didn't find the breast unbearably painful, but the migraine and fever just left me wanting my bed which, with 2 babies, isn't a possibility!  Thank goodness the doctor prescribed an antibiotic which cured the condition in 24 hours, but those 24 hours weren't easy!

While this was all happening, Lily woke up in the night vomiting!  So of course as a mom, you forget your woes and go to the aid of your sick child.  Lily had a fever and would continue to fight high temperatures for 48 hours!  I'm still actually watching her now to see if the fevers are going to return... After having rushed her to the ER on Thursday night at 10pm, the doctor confirmed she has a viral infection which would have to work its way out her system as there is no medication that would help.

Being sick while having to look after your kids is one of the hardest things to endure.  Quite honestly, you just cannot afford to be sick and when you are, you just have to "man up" and ignore how awful you feel!  In short, moms aren't allowed to get sick!  Thank goodness this week is almost over and here's to a healthy and happy family again :)

Being a mom

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom

Drained...

I am very hesitant to even consider it or to verbalise it too often for fear of it turning to a definite reality, but I think my little Zac has Colic.  I'm desperately hoping and praying that this is not the case and that my darling little boy is only suffering from an inexperienced digestive system which will rectify itself sooner rather than later.  Having had it relatively easy with Lily, I was not prepared for what I've been faced with over the last week or so...

Due to the abdominal discomfort that Zac is experiencing (whatever the cause), he has had me rocking him, shushing him, massaging him, trying to burp him, feeding him more than necessary... Doing absolutely everything I can think of to stop his constant moaning and crying.  Out of pure frustration a few nights ago, I actually asked my hubby (who has been sleeping downstairs in the spare room since Zac's arrival) to please help me!  Nothing I seem to do aleviates his pain and therefore the crying.  It is physically and emotionally draining and I'm exceptionally emotional about the fact that I don't have many moments to bond with my son.  He is far too niggly for me to actually find peaceful moments where I can just gaze into his little eyes and get to know him...  I'm literally tearing up as I type this as I know how incredibly quickly they grow up and I'm losing precious moments.

Having said that though, I do know that this will pass.  However, in the meantime, I am torn.  I'm torn between consoling my newborn baby and then giving my little Lily Pie attention.  Zac's discomfort seems to take priority which once again, pulls at my heartstrings and "Mother's Guilt" sets in.  I have, out of desperation, tried numerous "colic" remedies, something I would never have thought I'd do as I'm very against drugs and non-natural interventions with a baby so young.  I don't want to continue on this road so I'm currently looking at going to a homeopath as well as possibly buying a baby rocker which I believe often helps settle the poor little things.  I'm hoping that something works and soon!

In the past when moms would say the first 6 weeks of a baby's life are the most difficult, I would think to myself that it honestly isn't that bad.  Well... it clearly depends on the type of baby you have!  When I had Lily, she was easy.  I could lay her down and she would easily self-soothe.  She was also a brilliant "burper" and didn't struggle with winds too badly.  Zac on the other hand isn't as easily settled and I seem to have him in my arms constantly.  I have now resorted to having our domestic worker put him on her back in the mornings so Lily and I can get dressed.  Thankfully he seems to enjoy it and does fall asleep.

So even though I'm feeling incredibly drained and anxious with the current situation, I'm still thoroughly enjoying getting to know little Zac better and LOVE seeing how fond Lily is of him.  She constantly wants to hold or kiss him which I'm just so grateful for.  The last thing I need right now is a jealous toddler especially while Zac is so needy.  So, slowly, we are getting more and more used to our little family of 4 and hopefully the next update on little Zac will be more positive and he will have outgrown his discomfort.

PS.  On a brighter note, Zac gave me his first smile at 3 weeks old and confirmed it with another smile last night, one day before he turned 4 weeks :)

Sleeping in mommy's arms - 26 days old

Update on things at home

Well, our little Zac is now 2.5 weeks old and we are slowly settling into a routine. People usually say that the first 6 weeks of a baby's life are hectic and quite an adjustment for you as the parent. With Lily, I could honestly say that it didn't take too much adjusting and I found it quite smooth sailing. Yes, the sleep deprivation takes quite some getting used to, but she was a great sleeper and I remember many a night having to wake her up for a feed as she had slept through the usual 3-4 hours you can wait between feeds. Although, having said all that, your memory does tend to fade and you forget the "bad" things so perhaps it was worse than I can recall. Yet another reason why I'm so grateful for this blog - to jolt that ever fading memory of mine!

Zac in the other hand is quite a niggly baby. I seem to have to cuddle him quite a lot in order to soothe him. Now perhaps I didn't notice this with Lily as I held her most of the time whereas with Zac I have Lily to play with and to give attention to so I can't be holding him 24/7. He also battles a lot more with winds, especially at night. I find we are usually awake for a minimum of an hour to up to two hours every time he has a feed as we have to burp for what seems like an eternity. I feel so sorry for the little guy as he seems like he is in such agony lifting his little legs and folding himself over. I don't want to tempt fate, but the last couple of nights have been much better and I've found letting him sleep on my chest makes for a much longer, quieter night for the both of us. Plus, I get that one-on-one time with my little boy that I don't always get during the day. Love it!

Zac is also a very hungry little thing and just loves to be on the boob! As a result he gained almost 400g in a week when we last had him weighed! On one hand I'm thrilled that he is drinking and gaining weight so nicely but on the other hand, I don't want him to get big so quickly. I want to enjoy the teeny tiny little baby I have for a while. He is still very petite and his newborn outfits are far too big but he is certainly going to grow into them soon at this rate!

Due to the intense feeding, my poor nipples have really taken a bashing. I've had 5 laser treatment sessions and they're finally getting a little better. I found myself literally holding my breath before every single feed when Zac would latch. The pain was that intense! I knew that I would probably go through all of this though as I went through the exact same thing with Lily. Why after going through 9 months of pregnancy and a painful delivery do we have to then endure painful nipples and engorged breasts?! Sometimes I question creation! And then to top it all off, I have thrush which makes the nipples painfully tingly post feeds, I could almost quit the breastfeeding there and then! Thankfully my doctor has prescribed some meds which I'm going to start today. Hopefully they work and my days of painful nipples are long gone.

Lily is being such a wonderful big sister. She absolutely adores her brother and gives him kisses all the time. She often just goes up to him and says in a high pitched "I'm talking to a baby" voice,"Hello Zac" or "Hello boy" followed by a kiss on his head. It is so heartwarming and I'm hoping it lasts. Lily is truly such a gentle, kind soul. We are truly blessed! She is also growing up so quickly and is talking up a storm stringing words and sentences together beautifully. I just love talking and listening to her. As a result there are so many smiles and lots of laughter in our household. On the whole, we are all adjusting quite well to our new family of four.

Hubby is so much more hands on which I'm truly grateful for. I know I can rely on him to help me should I need it whereas prior to Zac's arrival, I did most of the baby related duties. As a result if him being more involved, I can see a closer bond developing between him and Lily. It is so wonderful to see. They just adore each other which makes my heart swell.

And that's an update on how things are going in the Aufrichtig home at the moment. Here's to hoping the baby winds cease, that Zac becomes more chilled in the upcoming ing weeks, that Lily remains the kind big sister to Zac and that hubby and I continue to work well together to raise our precious little family.

So very true...

Just something I came across and thought it was so very true...  Something us parents need to always remind ourselves of as at times life can be so busy that we ignore the "small stuff".

Happy Birthday!

A huge happy 2nd birthday to our very precious Lily.  You are the center of our world and you fill every day with so much joy and laughter.  We have been so blessed to have you in our lives - these last 2 years have truly been amazingly special.  We are so proud of the little person you are... Always so kind, soft and gentle.  We are obviously doing something right as your parents!

We love you more than you will ever know! xxx

Introducing Zac Aufrichtig

Wow! Having a newborn baby as well as a toddler is extremely busy! I've been meaning to update my blog for quite some time, but to just find the time has proven rather challenging to say the least. I'm usually entirely "baby" consumed and when Lily is down for her midday nap, I'm usually feeding, burping or changing Zac or, if I'm lucky, I am having a nap myself.  However, today I've decided to forgo my nap or a portion thereof in order to finally get an update done...

On Thursday, 12th April at 4:45am my body clock woke me up 15 minutes before my alarm clock was set to do so.  I had a relatively good night sleep thanks to a full Aterax tablet (bless those Aterax tabs!) so woke up ready to meet our new little man.  We headed off to the hospital in the dark at 5:45am and checked in at the allocated time of 6am.  We were extremely lucky to secure a private room at the hospital - in fact the same private room that we had when Lily was born.  Beautiful views of the city, mountain and distant ocean.

Everything seemed to happen so quickly.  I was immediately told to change into the gorgeous hospital gowns and was told by the nurse that from there on out, my dignity had left the building! I completely understood what she meant after having had Lily.  Whethere you're having a natural or c-section delivery, there is no dignity whatsoever!  I was strapped to all the medical apparatus and was told that I was in fact already having contractions.  Funny, I couldn't feel a thing!  So perhaps Zac was ready to make his appearance on his own...

The doctors all did their rounds explaining things to hubby and I and the next thing I knew we were being wheeled down to theater.  Everything really did happen quickly from there.  The spinal was a mere sting, my legs got the usual pins and needles and then I was lying on the table being cut open!  I have to say I was relatively calm throughout it all with hubby admitting that he thought I was incredibly brave as he was "shitting himself" (his words!).  I did react differently to the spinal block this time as I got incredible shakes, it was awful!  It took all my might to try stop the shakes, but unfortunately the doctor couldn't give me anything to aleviate it until the baby was born.  I saw smoke coming from my stomach area alongwith a strong stench which hubby likened to the smell of a braai (i.e. meat cooking) and I knew that the operation had begun.  They obviously don't like to tell you that they're going to start for nerves and anxiety reasons.

After what seemed like seconds, I felt some tugging and all of a sudden I heard a loud cry.  This is when I really did relax - I just wanted to hear that cry and know that our little angel was fine.  Due to his breech position we were warned that the birth may be rather barbaric, but he came out very easily, albeit bum first! He has a head of dark hair but not quite as much hair as his sister had at birth.  He is too beautiful!  He was immediately passed to the paediatrician and scored 9/10 and then 10/10 for his Apgar and then this wrapped up little coccoon was handed to mommy to hold.  I just stared in awe at this perfect creation and honestly couldn't wait to look at his tiny fingers, toes and take in every little feature.  The doctor then escorted both my men (baby and daddy) to the nursery in the maternity ward while I lay on the table being sewn up.  I was away from them for about an hour and was eventually given the all clear to go back up to my room.

Before the delivery I insisted on completely different drugs to those I was given when I had Lily, the morphine sent me to the moon! I had no idea who I was, what was going on and could barely keep my eyes open.  I have never felt so out of control and spaced out in my life and I hated every minute of it.  This time thankfully, medicine has advanced and I was given an internal aneasthetic which they injected into my sides directly into the muscle tissue.  I felt completely "with it" and could enjoy every single minute with my new baby and proud husband.  We attempted breastfeeding and after that we just enjoyed being the 3 of us before visitors started to arrive a few hours later.

Even though we had 7 months of knowing that we were having a boy, we still didn't have a definite name for our son.  Was he going to look like a Jack or a Zac?  We were convinced we would know when we met him... Well, we were wrong!  He didn't look particularly like any name.  So... he was nameless for his first 48 hours until we eventually settled on Zac.

Little baby boy Zac was born on April, 12th 2012 at 8:06am weighing a teeny tiny 3.016kg and 47cm in length (35g lighter and 1cm shorter than his sister although Lily did have a whole week extra incubation period inside mommy's tummy).  You forget how very tiny they are when they are born.  You also forget the long little fingernails, the peeling skin, the fine body hair... And the very perfection of this little person you and your husband created with love.  It also amazes me how you fall so very much in love with this little person who you've known for such a short period of time and you know that you would give your everything for him.  I am convinced that my heart has literally grown to facilitate the absolute unconditional love for our little Zac.  He has completed our little family of four perfectly xxx

Tomorrow is the day!

I can't believe that today is officially the last full day of this pregnancy... In a way it has come around so quickly and in another, I seem to have been pregnant for an eternity.  It is amazing how different a second pregnancy is as you really don't have as much time to ponder on the journey and milestones as you do with your first pregnancy.  Having said that, this too has been a very special pregnancy and I've loved every minute of it.  I just love the kicks, movements and growing belly and have been blessed with two very healthy pregnancies - I'm truly lucky!

Our last scan was yesterday and our little guy is still very much in the breech position.  My doctor has warned us that the birth may appear barbaric as they literally pull him out by his legs with his head still firmly in place up deep inside my stomach.  I've been told not to worry as he is still connected to me via the umbilical cord so his breathing will be fine.  He also warned that forceps may very well be used which I am definitely not loving!  I hope he comes out easier than the doctor has predicted.

38 week belly!

Today has been so wonderful up to now having spent quality time with my little Lily.  We went and bought her a newborn baby doll so she too has a new baby to look after when mommy comes home with her brother.  I will give it to her when we come home from the hospital.  From the shops I took her to the farm stall where we were the only people there and had free reign of the place.  Hubby then happened to be in the area so he joined us so we spent some QT as a little family of three.  He then left and my mom, gran and sister arrived to have a coffee too.  So we've had a wonderful morning spent with all the important people in our lives.

Lily is now sleeping allowing me my last little bit of "Mel" time before things get super busy from tomorrow.  I miss her while she's sleeping... I just want to hold and cuddle her all day.  I'm super excited to meet our little prince tomorrow but I'm SO going to miss my little Lily Pie.  Being a mom is a guilt-ridden roll and I believe you never outlive it.  I best start getting used to it I suppose!

I still can't quite believe that the next time I blog, I will be a mommy to two!

37.5 week scan

My hubby was a little crazy at work on Monday so couldn't join me for our scan, so instead, I took my parents along.  The reason for this was two-fold, namely to see their new little grandson and also for them to watch Lily while the doctor conducted the scan. 

As I'd thought, Lily was not happy with the doctor touching her mommy and sadly sobbed while sitting on granny's lap.  Shame, she really didn't enjoy the whole procedure one little bit and was really and truly upset by it all.  Poor little thing...

With the baby being so much larger now, the scans aren't all that detailed so the only thing my parents actually recognised was the sound of the heartbeat!  All the doctor measures during these last few weeks of pregnancy is the baby's head circumference, stomach circumference and the legs in order to get an estimation of the baby's weight which was around 3.0 - 3.1kg.  The doctor still reckons Baby Boy Aufrichtig will weigh between 3.2-3.3kg at birth - bigger than his sister.

So as of today, we are officially less than a week away from meeting our little boy.  This time next week, I will be holding him in my arms and he will be around 5 hours old... Hard to imagine.  I'm a bundle of emotions (thanks to pregnancy... well I blame pregnancy!).  I am super excited to meet him, however I'm also quite alright with him not rushing to make his appearance into the world so I can enjoy my sleep some more!  I'm nervous and anxious that all will be okay - he must breath perfectly when he is delivered, have 10 fingers and 10 toes and just be 100% healthy.  I'm dreading leaving Lily (as I've said a few times!) so am not looking forward to being away from her for 3 nights and 4 days.  There are just so many emotions running through me at the moment...  Far more complicated than my first pregnancy, that's for sure!