15 months old

Two days ago, my little angel turned 15 months old.  Her vocabulary is growing by the day and so is her determination.  She knows exactly what she wants and will definitely make her demands known which is both cute and frustrating at times.  I suppose I just have to praise the cuteness and ignore the frustrations.  Some new words include "goo ga" for good girl, "Beya" for Bella and "no" for nose (which she now points to as well).  There are a few others but I can't think of them at the moment.

Lily is still not walking, however, her willingness to do so is improving.  She now loves to grab onto my one hand and walk alongside me.  Her balance is improving every day and I'm hoping that it will be during this month that she gains the confidence to take her first few unaided steps.  In the mean time she is exceptionally speedy on her hands and knees.

I am starting to get a little more concerned with regards to her teeth, or should I say the lack thereof.  Lily still only has 2 little bottom teeth with no signs of any others making their grand appearance.  It has now been over 3 months since those first 2 arrived so I'm starting to wonder whether the others will ever sprout? 

We received a lovely "monthday" present when we saw that Lily was chosen as the Kiabi baby model.  Kiabi is a French clothing brand that Lily modeled for but we weren't sure whether they were going to use her pictures or the pictures of the other baby models.  Anyway, here are 2 of the photographs currently displayed on their website - very proud mommy over here :)

Lily's birth story

I belong to a forum that has really helped me along my life journey so far - with my wedding, my pregnancy and now my journey through motherhood.  It is a group of woman, some who I have met and others I haven't, who share their stories, jokes, upsets and general goings-on with each other.  Those of us who have gone through our pregnancies on the forum together, all post our birth stories once our angels have arrived.  I recently found the story I posted and thought I would paste it here too:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you all know, I had to have a c-section at 40 weeks so I was scheduled for sometime late on Wednesday afternoon. I got to the hospital at 12h00 and was kept busy filling in forms, etc with the nurses until 1pm. Then we had to sit and wait! It felt like forever and the later it got, the more trips to the bathroom I had in anticipation! Eventually they told me it was time at about 4:15pm. I was wheeled down to theater, Daniel was given his scrubs and we met my anesthetist who was amazing. He explained everything that would happen and in we went. I didn't even realise that they'd started cutting it was so quick! The spinal isn't sore at all - it just felt strange not to be able to move my legs!

After about 3-5 minutes my baby was out! It was the most surreal, amazing moment ever! I looked over at Daniel and he was so teary - I've actually never seen him so emotional before, it was a beautiful moment! Little Lily was born weighing just over 3kg and has a mop of black hair, the cutest perfectly formed eyebrows and long eyelashes! I'm so in love with her it's beyond explanation!

The only downside of the whole experience was the morphine. After I was wheeled back to my room, I had about an hour of feeling normal and then all of a sudden it felt like I was on Mars! I was seriously taken to another planet. I couldn't keep my eyes open and couldn't converse with the new grandparents or family visiting. I was like that until they removed the morphine drip at 5am on Thursday! I felt like a terrible mother as they had to take Lily to the nursery that night - I was just so spaced out and drugged! They were even trying to get her to breastfeed while I lay with my head down falling asleep! I tried to stay awake but as I said, I was on another planet!

But luckily everything improved the next morning! As soon as I was lucid, they brought Lily to me and I was just madly in love all over again. Breastfeeding was difficult I have to admit! I got 2 hours of the Baby Blues on day 3 due to Lily not feeding and they had to top her up with formula. The Paed even suggested that I give up trying the breast and use a bottle due to my baby being very hungry! I felt terrible! But I was insistent and got the breastfeeding right and now both mom and baby are very happy!

Lily has been really good I have to say. She doesn't wake up at night so I've been waking her for feeding! My poor dad got such a fright the first night as he didn't hear the baby! He thought he'd be woken up by her cries at least once or twice. She is a very contented baby which I'm enjoying as I know that this may not always be the case. 

Anyway, this is turning into a novel of an update! I just wanted to say hi and let you all know how we're doing. Thanks for all your wishes and messages - it has meant the world to us! xxx

Pustular Tonsillitis

My poor baby girl is sickies and really sick for the first time in her little life.  After our visit to the doctor yesterday, he confirmed that the reason for her sleepless nights and her high temperatures, is because she has Pustular Tonsillitis.  This form of tonsillitis presents itself as puss like areas on her little inflamed tonsils.  Poor little baby... And even though she has a very sore throat and perhaps an achy body and headache, she continues to smile, chat, laugh and play.  She is really such a happy little munchkin.

The doctor's prognosis explains why she hasn't been sleeping during the day and then waking up at night.  The last 3 nights have been so incredibly tough.  I suppose I have been lucky in the past with a baby that slept relatively well and never kept me up for hours at night, but now I know what some other mothers have to endure.  She has been waking up at around 1am and due to me administering suppositories to relieve her fever, she wakes up completely and thinks it's time to chat and play.  She has been doing so until around 4am when I eventually manage to get her back to sleep.

Today was the first time ever that I felt completely overwhelmed.  As I was trying to rock her to sleep for her morning nap and she was simultaneously fighting me (although she was completely exhausted), the tears just rolled down my cheeks.  I felt so frustrated and I could feel my heart beating faster at the idea of her not sleeping and me having to face yet another full day with her while I'm completely shattered from lack of sleep.

Sleep deprivation in my opinion, must be the worst form of torture known to man.  It has made me realise how even as much as you love your child, when sleep deprived, your patience can be heavily tested, for which I feel extremely guilty.  I know my child is sick and I know that she may not feel like sleeping or being apart from me, but I can't help but get frustrated at her unwillingness to go down for her morning sleep or for deciding to play at all hours of the morning.  And it is this dilemma that makes the tears stream down my cheeks as I type - she is just an innocent little baby who is ill; she doesn't mean to frustrate me; yet my lack of sleep and utter exhaustion lead me to be impatient with her.  I'm guilt-ridden and sad.

I honestly cannot wait for these antibiotics to kick in and for my little angel to be well again.  The last few days have been terrible and I hope not to have too many of them in the near future.  Seeing your little angel sick and helpless is truly heartbreaking.

New words!

Lily is beginning to copy what we say and to our absolute amazement, most of the time, gets it right!  My mom was visiting last week and we went out for lunch along the beach with my sister and a friend.  A helicopter kept on flying past so Lily kept on pointing at it.  My mom said to her "helicopter" and to our absolute astonishment, out came "copter"!  And she didn't only say it once, she said it a few times.  We all looked at each other with our mouths open.

Also during the last few days, Lily has been looking up into the sky or out of the window and points at the birds flying past.  We keep saying "birdy" to her, but her pronunciation is "birday".  It is so sweet hearing her listen to what we say and then repeat it in her own way.  My heart really does melt with pride.

Another thing she has been saying is "bless you" when someone sneezes and she also said our dog Bella's name perfectly.  She pronounced the "B" and "L" sounds 100% correctly! 

So although my little angel is 14.5 months old now and still isn't walking, she is definitely talking and doing far more verbalizing than her peers.  I suppose you can't compare toddlers, they will develop in their own time and even though she is crawling along while her friends walk around her, she definitely has far more to say!

First smack :(

With much guilt and heartache, I must admit to the fact that Lily received her very first smack yesterday.  I regret having done it as I really want to try to discipline verbally and with a naughty space instead.  However, after weeks of saying "NO" to her climbing onto the coffee table with her totally ignoring my raised voice, yesterday I firmly said no to her with my finger pointed at her and she angrily hit me in the face! 

I was completely shocked and taken by surprise that my immediate response was to say "You do not hit mommy!" and I took her little hand and gave it a little smack.  She then of course started to cry and after about 3 seconds, I gave her a reassuring love.  My heart broke in that moment - my poor little baby so upset by something I had done to her.  But as usual, Lily had forgotten about it within seconds and mommy was left to ponder over what she had done with so much guilt!

I am really looking forward to the Living and Loving seminar this month which is focused on discipline and self-esteem without tears.  I think it will come in handy during the next few months and the supposed "terrible two's".  Hopefully there will be some great tips and advice for this first time mommy who really wants to get it right!