Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
A letter to my 54 year old self...
I found this entry on another blog (http://www.babyrabies.com/2012/07/a-letter-to-my-51-year-old-self/) and I thought it so true, honest and beautifully written. I thought it was something I'd like to remember and write down for myself in 20 years to come. Also, I think it is beautiful for my children to read one day. Such meaningful words.
Dear Me 20 Years From Now,
I wonder if you’ve become one of those women who briefly lingers around, a safe distance behind, young moms carting their babies and toddlers through the grocery store with that far-off look in your eyes. If you gently smile at the mom when she looks up and catches your glance, obviously frazzled by how challenging taking 2 kids grocery shopping is, as if to tell her it’s going to be okay. If you look at her and miss that time, want so badly to trade 5 minutes of the independence you have now that your kids are much older so that you can rest a toddler’s head on your shoulder, or buckle a baby in their car seat, mindful not to pinch any belly chub in the harness.
I have a feeling that you might be, and there are some things I want you to know, some things I’m willing you to remember.
I want you to remember that they were the hardest thing you’d ever done. They challenged you, and they kept you up at night. They pushed your buttons, and they were never, ever quiet… unless they were in trouble. I want you to remember that you loved them the hardest you’ve ever loved anything, from day one, and every day after that.
I want you to know that you were completely overwhelmed nearly all the time. The thought of taking them anywhere by yourself made you want to hide in bed all day. You were overwhelmed by the responsibility. You had NO clue what you were doing. You were overwhelmed by how much they trusted you and how much they needed you. You were overwhelmed by how much you needed and loved them.
I want you to remember how it felt to lay side by side next to your 4-year-old before he drifted off to sleep. How you talked face to face, nose to nose, about his day. How you told him you were excited to see how much he would grow by the morning, and how in the morning you’d lay in bed next to him and stretch his arms and legs out, exclaiming, “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU GREW LAST NIGHT!” How that put the biggest smile on his face.
I want you to remember what it felt like to hold your 18 month old on your lap, wrapping your arms around her and laying them on her bulging tummy. How the back of her head and the handful of baby curls at the nape of her neck felt and smelled when you rested your head atop hers.
I want you to know that you were acutely aware of how fast they were growing. Even though many days would pass in the blink of an eye, there would always be a moment when your world would snap to a halt, and you would look at them while they were doing something mundane and normal, and you would be painfully conscious that they were no longer the size they were last week, and that they would never be the size they are at that moment again.
I want you to know that you went to bed every night with one simple wish for the next day. To just do better.
Even though you were tired and challenged, exasperated and overwhelmed, you knew then that you would miss these days…most of them, at least. It was a truth that was hard to live with, and most of the time you ignored it because there was nothing you could do about the passing of time. If you spent your days mourning the ones that had gone by, you’d miss out on the days you were living in.
You knew you were on a light rail, moving at speeds you couldn’t comprehend. You had no control over the ride that brought you to where you are today, but believe me when I say you searched so very hard to find the emergency brake.
Please know, please remember that you tried to savor that time. Be at peace, knowing you spent late afternoons curled up with them on the couch, that sometimes you just sat and watched them move and run, that occasionally you took inventory of all the things they’d learned in the last week, and that you appreciated your time with them the best you knew how. Know that despite your very best efforts, there was no way to freeze time.
I promise you, you tried.
Love,
you
Dear Me 20 Years From Now,
I wonder if you’ve become one of those women who briefly lingers around, a safe distance behind, young moms carting their babies and toddlers through the grocery store with that far-off look in your eyes. If you gently smile at the mom when she looks up and catches your glance, obviously frazzled by how challenging taking 2 kids grocery shopping is, as if to tell her it’s going to be okay. If you look at her and miss that time, want so badly to trade 5 minutes of the independence you have now that your kids are much older so that you can rest a toddler’s head on your shoulder, or buckle a baby in their car seat, mindful not to pinch any belly chub in the harness.
I have a feeling that you might be, and there are some things I want you to know, some things I’m willing you to remember.
I want you to remember that they were the hardest thing you’d ever done. They challenged you, and they kept you up at night. They pushed your buttons, and they were never, ever quiet… unless they were in trouble. I want you to remember that you loved them the hardest you’ve ever loved anything, from day one, and every day after that.
I want you to know that you were completely overwhelmed nearly all the time. The thought of taking them anywhere by yourself made you want to hide in bed all day. You were overwhelmed by the responsibility. You had NO clue what you were doing. You were overwhelmed by how much they trusted you and how much they needed you. You were overwhelmed by how much you needed and loved them.
I want you to remember how it felt to lay side by side next to your 4-year-old before he drifted off to sleep. How you talked face to face, nose to nose, about his day. How you told him you were excited to see how much he would grow by the morning, and how in the morning you’d lay in bed next to him and stretch his arms and legs out, exclaiming, “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU GREW LAST NIGHT!” How that put the biggest smile on his face.
I want you to remember what it felt like to hold your 18 month old on your lap, wrapping your arms around her and laying them on her bulging tummy. How the back of her head and the handful of baby curls at the nape of her neck felt and smelled when you rested your head atop hers.
I want you to know that you were acutely aware of how fast they were growing. Even though many days would pass in the blink of an eye, there would always be a moment when your world would snap to a halt, and you would look at them while they were doing something mundane and normal, and you would be painfully conscious that they were no longer the size they were last week, and that they would never be the size they are at that moment again.
I want you to know that you went to bed every night with one simple wish for the next day. To just do better.
Even though you were tired and challenged, exasperated and overwhelmed, you knew then that you would miss these days…most of them, at least. It was a truth that was hard to live with, and most of the time you ignored it because there was nothing you could do about the passing of time. If you spent your days mourning the ones that had gone by, you’d miss out on the days you were living in.
You knew you were on a light rail, moving at speeds you couldn’t comprehend. You had no control over the ride that brought you to where you are today, but believe me when I say you searched so very hard to find the emergency brake.
Please know, please remember that you tried to savor that time. Be at peace, knowing you spent late afternoons curled up with them on the couch, that sometimes you just sat and watched them move and run, that occasionally you took inventory of all the things they’d learned in the last week, and that you appreciated your time with them the best you knew how. Know that despite your very best efforts, there was no way to freeze time.
I promise you, you tried.
Love,
you
Sunday, July 15, 2012
All is quiet...
It isn't often that I get some time off just for myself, but every now and then I get a rare moment when all is quiet and both babies are sleeping at the same time! So right now, I'm taking this precious time to do a little update and relish in this rarity of "Mel Time".
Slowly we are settling into more of a routine. Lily's sleep is still great with her going down at 7:30pm or thereabouts and waking up around 7am. We did have a little rough patch but I'm 100% sure it is down to teething as she is sprouting teeth left, right and center. My poor little angel got her first 2 teeth at 12 months and then nothing until 17 months when she got a few more and then nothing again until 25 months. So the eye teeth are trying to push through as well as a few bottom and top teeth. It must be painful hence the few rough nights, but thanks to my best friends Aterax and Voltaran suppositories, all of us slept through the anguish of it all.
As mentioned in my previous posting a few days ago, Zac's sleep patterns are also settling down and we are enjoying only one feed at night. I am feeling a whole lot more human these last few days!
Lily is such a little sweetheart and a truly good munchkin. Her manners are impecable, full of "please" and "thank you's" and even "I'm sorry's" bless her. She continues to amaze us with her flawless memory, her rapid grasp of new things and her unbelievable curiosity. She brings such bright smiles and so much joy to our lives, as does her brother with his infectious open mouthed smiles and cute little coo's and aah's. We are so very blessed with our two little munchkins and couldn't be happier!
My munchkins:
Slowly we are settling into more of a routine. Lily's sleep is still great with her going down at 7:30pm or thereabouts and waking up around 7am. We did have a little rough patch but I'm 100% sure it is down to teething as she is sprouting teeth left, right and center. My poor little angel got her first 2 teeth at 12 months and then nothing until 17 months when she got a few more and then nothing again until 25 months. So the eye teeth are trying to push through as well as a few bottom and top teeth. It must be painful hence the few rough nights, but thanks to my best friends Aterax and Voltaran suppositories, all of us slept through the anguish of it all.
As mentioned in my previous posting a few days ago, Zac's sleep patterns are also settling down and we are enjoying only one feed at night. I am feeling a whole lot more human these last few days!
Lily is such a little sweetheart and a truly good munchkin. Her manners are impecable, full of "please" and "thank you's" and even "I'm sorry's" bless her. She continues to amaze us with her flawless memory, her rapid grasp of new things and her unbelievable curiosity. She brings such bright smiles and so much joy to our lives, as does her brother with his infectious open mouthed smiles and cute little coo's and aah's. We are so very blessed with our two little munchkins and couldn't be happier!
My munchkins:
Thursday, July 12, 2012
3 months old
On one hand, I can't believe that my little baby is 3 months old today, but on the other hand, due to the troubles we experienced in the early days (undiagnosed reflux and the horrendous RSV Virus), it doesn't seem like time has gone all that quickly. But now our little Zac isn't so little any more and boy is he a smiley, happy baby! A completely different child to the one who was plagued by painful reflux and subjected to tests and hospitalisations for the first 6 weeks of life.
Zac is growing so quickly. We went for his 12 week vaccination today (poor baby) and he has had quite the growth spurt. He has gained 1kg in 4 weeks and is now 60cm in length! He is in both size 2 and 3 nappies (finishing off our last pack of size 2's) and is fitting snugly in his size 1-3 months clothing. It is so sad when you have to start packing clothing away because it no longer fits - a constant reminder to enjoy and savour all the precious moments as they grow up so incredibly quickly!
Thanks to Losec for his reflux, we no longer have a moany baby, but instead we are greeted with smiles, chuckles and baby coo's. He really is a content and happy little man. His sleeping is improving too with him waking once during the night on most nights now with only a few rough nights in between. Hopefully this sleep routine stays put and only gets better from here. He is still in his Moses basket next to my bed. We are looking to move him into the nursery at the end of the month...
And my word does he have long eyelashes! As everyone comments, he has beautiful big eyes and a slight hint of a flirter's dimple as well. Turning into such a handsome little guy!
So all-in-all, things are going well and as time goes on, we are getting to know and love our little boy more and more. I often find myself staring at him in awe at his pure perfection - I am so truly blessed and love him more than I can describe!
Zac is growing so quickly. We went for his 12 week vaccination today (poor baby) and he has had quite the growth spurt. He has gained 1kg in 4 weeks and is now 60cm in length! He is in both size 2 and 3 nappies (finishing off our last pack of size 2's) and is fitting snugly in his size 1-3 months clothing. It is so sad when you have to start packing clothing away because it no longer fits - a constant reminder to enjoy and savour all the precious moments as they grow up so incredibly quickly!
Thanks to Losec for his reflux, we no longer have a moany baby, but instead we are greeted with smiles, chuckles and baby coo's. He really is a content and happy little man. His sleeping is improving too with him waking once during the night on most nights now with only a few rough nights in between. Hopefully this sleep routine stays put and only gets better from here. He is still in his Moses basket next to my bed. We are looking to move him into the nursery at the end of the month...
And my word does he have long eyelashes! As everyone comments, he has beautiful big eyes and a slight hint of a flirter's dimple as well. Turning into such a handsome little guy!
So all-in-all, things are going well and as time goes on, we are getting to know and love our little boy more and more. I often find myself staring at him in awe at his pure perfection - I am so truly blessed and love him more than I can describe!
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